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Step parenting
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Did you know you are Super Human?
08 Jan 2012 by Rod Smith / 1 Comment
Five super-human powers we all possess, but some ignore
Power 1: Self Definition (day one)
Every one of us has the ability to let the world know exactly we are and exactly who we are not.
This is the power of Self Definition.
It is the capacity to be involved in the development of your own environment, relationships, and ambitions.
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My son (14) comes home with horrific stories …..
07 Dec 2011 by Rod Smith / No Comments
My son (14) goes to his dad and comes back with horrific stories of his stepbrothers and sisters and their behavior. These children (older than my son) are teaching him things he’s never been exposed to and most of it around technology and games. He likes his visits but I am worried about what this is going to do to him. Do I intervene? (Extracted from a much longer letter)
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Marrying, with children?
06 Dec 2011 by Rod Smith / No Comments
The power of a second marriage, following a divorce or a death of a spouse, should not be underestimated in its power to dislodge or upset children. Even when the children appear to be in full agreement of what is happening, even if they have been thoroughly informed about the intentions and the events to come, the adults will be wise to appreciate that adjustments do not come easy.
Living between two biological parents (in the instance of a divorce) can be more difficult than living in two homes. Having two bedrooms in two different places can be unseating, while trying to
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I am marrying a woman with two daughters……
03 Aug 2011 by Rod Smith / No Comments
“I am 25. My fiancé has two beautiful girls who are 10 and 6. The younger daughter has taken to me well. She always wants to be held, gives kisses, and tells me she loves me! The older child is having some issues. They are with the whole situation. I am really trying to make sure she doesn’t feel I am trying to make her mom choose between us. I am willing to do anything for these girls, but with no previous experience, I really don’t know what to do. A goal is to give her more one-on-one attention. Please help.”
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Persist, or he will forever rule the roost
20 Jul 2011 by Rod Smith / No Comments
“I have a son (4). My husband passed away when my son was an infant. I met and married an ex boyfriend who has full custody of a daughter (8). His daughter sleeps over whenever she wants to but lives with his parents, an agreement he made with his parents. My son really acts out whenever his daughter is around me. He refuses to share his toys or sleep in the same bedroom. It is causing some tension in our marriage.
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Verbal log-jam
When I was a boy I’d endlessly practice the fluent delivery of my name but it seldom flowed easily from my lips. As if it was new news to me, adults pointed out my stutter. Perhaps they thought I was beginning, at that precise moment, for the first time in my life to spit from the mouth, twist at the neck, jig my head back and forth trying to expel some inane statement log-jammed between my gut and my throat.
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Life in our beloved 122
If the inside of a house (outside, too, I suppose) is a metaphor of the lives of the people who live in it – which is something I once read somewhere – gosh, are we in trouble. Our house is a mess.
I consistently clean it room by room, thinking often of the legend that the Golden Gate Bridge that says there’s some guy constantly painting it. I feel for him. While I am sure the view is wonderful I must believe that the poor guy whose doing it daily from one end to the other must find the wind and the weather quite a challenge.
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Being a white South African can come with complications
Being a white South African reared under Apartheid is no simple matter. It permeated everything for me. While I do not pretend to have been a political activist, I was always cognizant that my privileges, simply a result of being born white, were unmerited, and most unfair especially when enjoyed at the expense of others who were not. I think this unsettling truth (for I took advantage of my station in life) was somewhat of a companion to me from the age of about six or seven.
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Location, location – remembering winter in August
We live very close to our school and church, so close we can hear the school bell from our kitchen and the church bells in my bedroom.
Sometimes we walk to both and we don’t see the car for days.
I like it. I like not having to get in and out of the car. I like not having to negotiate traffic, something as synonymous with life in the USA as Disney, Fast Food, and the Fourth of July.
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Ready to adopt?
If you wait until you are ready to adopt a child you never will because you will never be ready. The baby, and only the baby, will make you ready. Reading the right books will be helpful, but “ready” magically comes upon you when a real baby is sleeping in your arms or crying in the middle of the night. If you are not ready to change diapers – and I always am amused at the big deal about this non-issue – being unprepared will last only as long as a clean diaper.
Life inside the Smith household
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