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Meditation
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How you leave is of vital importance…..
11 Dec 2011 by Rod Smith / No Comments
Strong goodbyes make strong hellos possible.
The manner in which you leave a job (or any relationship, church, or even a marriage) and say goodbye is vitally important.
Desired farewells, in the event of a promotion, should be crafted with great care, if you want greater success in your next similar venture or undertaking. Undesired farewells require the skill of an accomplished artist.
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Daily (ritual) for those who wish to grow (up)…….
13 Oct 2011 by Rod Smith / 1 Comment
- I will tell the truth to others and to myself.
- I will spread goodwill and be an agent of grace.
- I will pay my debts and consistently spend less than I earn.
- I will be more generous than I can afford.
- I will be kind to people of all ages, races, persuasions, religions, and orientations.
- I will mind my own business and continue to discover what that is.
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Love IS listening – it is the ONLY evidence of authentic human adult love….
18 Jul 2011 by Rod Smith / No Comments
Love cannot be pretended. Nor can the art and skill of listening.
Feeling loved is feeling heard.
To listen is to profoundly love and to love profoundly.
If I say I love you then I am saying I am willing to hear you. I am willing to hear even the things I would rather you would not say. If I am truly loved I will be able to say, appropriately, the things that you would rather not hear.
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Self-Differentiation or Differentiation of Self…..
08 Jul 2011 by Rod Smith / 4 Comments
Self-Differentiation (a term coined by family therapy pioneer, Murray Bowen) is a progressive, internal interplay between autonomy (separation) and connection (togetherness) while progressing toward developing and known goals.
Being an authentic adult is hard work and a never completed task. The pathway is paved with difficulty and challenge.
To become an adult, every person faces the task of the differentiation of self.
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How do you explain suicide to a child?
29 Mar 2011 by Rod Smith / 7 Comments
Suicide is perhaps the strongest and most powerful form of prayer I have ever encountered – giving ultimate relief in dying, what seemed impossible while living.
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Verbal log-jam
When I was a boy I’d endlessly practice the fluent delivery of my name but it seldom flowed easily from my lips. As if it was new news to me, adults pointed out my stutter. Perhaps they thought I was beginning, at that precise moment, for the first time in my life to spit from the mouth, twist at the neck, jig my head back and forth trying to expel some inane statement log-jammed between my gut and my throat.
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Life in our beloved 122
If the inside of a house (outside, too, I suppose) is a metaphor of the lives of the people who live in it – which is something I once read somewhere – gosh, are we in trouble. Our house is a mess.
I consistently clean it room by room, thinking often of the legend that the Golden Gate Bridge that says there’s some guy constantly painting it. I feel for him. While I am sure the view is wonderful I must believe that the poor guy whose doing it daily from one end to the other must find the wind and the weather quite a challenge.
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Being a white South African can come with complications
Being a white South African reared under Apartheid is no simple matter. It permeated everything for me. While I do not pretend to have been a political activist, I was always cognizant that my privileges, simply a result of being born white, were unmerited, and most unfair especially when enjoyed at the expense of others who were not. I think this unsettling truth (for I took advantage of my station in life) was somewhat of a companion to me from the age of about six or seven.
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Location, location – remembering winter in August
We live very close to our school and church, so close we can hear the school bell from our kitchen and the church bells in my bedroom.
Sometimes we walk to both and we don’t see the car for days.
I like it. I like not having to get in and out of the car. I like not having to negotiate traffic, something as synonymous with life in the USA as Disney, Fast Food, and the Fourth of July.
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Ready to adopt?
If you wait until you are ready to adopt a child you never will because you will never be ready. The baby, and only the baby, will make you ready. Reading the right books will be helpful, but “ready” magically comes upon you when a real baby is sleeping in your arms or crying in the middle of the night. If you are not ready to change diapers – and I always am amused at the big deal about this non-issue – being unprepared will last only as long as a clean diaper.
Life inside the Smith household
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