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High maintenance relationships
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If you want to navel gaze, think on these things….
02 Feb 2012 by Rod Smith / No Comments
Therapists often get a bad rap suggesting they lead clients to “navel gaze” or blame their parents. I have heard amusing tales of therapists who apparently sit and passively listen and offer random, affirming utterances.
You’ve probably seen the cartoons.
My own approach is eclectic, which, by the way, in the therapy world, is cool.
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I want my “happy” back
29 Jan 2012 by Rod Smith / No Comments
“I feel as if I am drowning in my marriage. My husband is a good guy for someone else perhaps. We have been together since teenagers now we are in our mid thirties and I’m just not so sure anymore. I desire many qualities that my husband does not have! The main one that he lacks is drive, which has been problematic. I am so tired of struggling and making sure everything appears okay instead of stating the obvious. I want our kids to know that this is not the way to pursue their happiness or truth. Again if it were not for fear-based decisions, lack of self worth, and guidance I would probably be more focused and on target. I love my husband, but not enough to continue this way. I just want my ‘happy’ back. It left years ago!”
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Practical suggestions to improve any relationship
25 Jan 2012 by Rod Smith / No Comments
I am frequently asked for “practical” suggestions regarding all sorts of unhealthy relationships (intimate, parent-child, co-worker, employee-employer). Here are a few things anyone in a less-than-healthy relationship can do. If you stick to them, you will see change and potentially greater health. This doesn’t mean things will feel better. It means a shift will occur that is likely to foster healthier options and bring you greater fulfillment:
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Your Super-Power #2 – ignore it (the power) at your own peril
09 Jan 2012 by Rod Smith / No Comments
Super-power #2: The Power to Forgive
Every one of us has the human capacity to forgive.
While often a tall order, we have the power to forgive those who hurt us and hurt those whom we love.This is a distinctly human edge. It is one of our human super-powers.
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Did you know you are Super Human?
08 Jan 2012 by Rod Smith / 1 Comment
Five super-human powers we all possess, but some ignore
Power 1: Self Definition (day one)
Every one of us has the ability to let the world know exactly we are and exactly who we are not.
This is the power of Self Definition.
It is the capacity to be involved in the development of your own environment, relationships, and ambitions.
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Verbal log-jam
When I was a boy I’d endlessly practice the fluent delivery of my name but it seldom flowed easily from my lips. As if it was new news to me, adults pointed out my stutter. Perhaps they thought I was beginning, at that precise moment, for the first time in my life to spit from the mouth, twist at the neck, jig my head back and forth trying to expel some inane statement log-jammed between my gut and my throat.
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Life in our beloved 122
If the inside of a house (outside, too, I suppose) is a metaphor of the lives of the people who live in it – which is something I once read somewhere – gosh, are we in trouble. Our house is a mess.
I consistently clean it room by room, thinking often of the legend that the Golden Gate Bridge that says there’s some guy constantly painting it. I feel for him. While I am sure the view is wonderful I must believe that the poor guy whose doing it daily from one end to the other must find the wind and the weather quite a challenge.
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Being a white South African can come with complications
Being a white South African reared under Apartheid is no simple matter. It permeated everything for me. While I do not pretend to have been a political activist, I was always cognizant that my privileges, simply a result of being born white, were unmerited, and most unfair especially when enjoyed at the expense of others who were not. I think this unsettling truth (for I took advantage of my station in life) was somewhat of a companion to me from the age of about six or seven.
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Location, location – remembering winter in August
We live very close to our school and church, so close we can hear the school bell from our kitchen and the church bells in my bedroom.
Sometimes we walk to both and we don’t see the car for days.
I like it. I like not having to get in and out of the car. I like not having to negotiate traffic, something as synonymous with life in the USA as Disney, Fast Food, and the Fourth of July.
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Ready to adopt?
If you wait until you are ready to adopt a child you never will because you will never be ready. The baby, and only the baby, will make you ready. Reading the right books will be helpful, but “ready” magically comes upon you when a real baby is sleeping in your arms or crying in the middle of the night. If you are not ready to change diapers – and I always am amused at the big deal about this non-issue – being unprepared will last only as long as a clean diaper.
Life inside the Smith household
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