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Grief
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Adult Jesus ruins my Christmas Shopping
03 Dec 2011 by Rod Smith / No Comments
Christmas shopping would be so much easier if Jesus would quit growing up and remain a baby.
Every time I venture out to celebrate the birth of the Christ Child and try to purchase a gift for someone I love, I am stumped.
What do I buy that will somehow declare the birth of the Son of God?
I don’t have the where-with-all for a gift that marks the birth of a King.
Besides, every time I begin to shop in honor of Baby Jesus, I get images of Him being whipped unmercifully upon a cross.
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When will the sad go away?
26 Oct 2011 by Rod Smith / 3 Comments
“I am devastated. My husband says our relationship has been dead for a long time. I am almost 60. I think all the things we do together are now gone. No more fishing or camping trips. I won’t do those things on my own. The best part of doing them was being with him. I won’t move on to another man. I know that I have no choice in this situation as he just doesn’t have that feeling for me anymore. He has been talking for months to a woman he’s known since he was in high school. I even saw a message from him that he should have married her. When will the sad go away?”
Your sadness is a necessary part of what has occurred within your marriage. Experience it to the full. Cry a lot. Vent freely. You will know when you are ready to take up your life (without him) and begin to plan for your fulfilling future.
While a man-less future seems impossible right now, legions of women have lived full and complete lives following failed marriages. You can probably do it, too.
It is more likely that you, rather than he, will find future fulfillment. Infidelity seldom leads to lasting peace of mind.
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In my situation mothering will not end…….
30 Aug 2011 by Rod Smith / No Comments
“You wrote that successful mothering does end. I feel that I am doing a great job with my 15 year old son. I adore my son, however, I am beginning to ‘let go.’ I am excited about his future and the role that I play in his becoming an independent young man who will leave us to spread his wings. However, I also have a younger son with severe autism. I also feel that I am doing a great job with him but this young man will not be spreading his wings. I am worried about his future and I am not sure that my mothering will end. We don’t have the facilities in South Africa to accommodate my son I really don’t think it is going to be possible to work myself out of this job. Do you have any advice for me?”
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Could he kill you? Are you married to a violent man?
06 Apr 2011 by Rod Smith / 3 Comments
For such men, winning is everything — losing control is not an option, even for those whom they proclaim to love the most.
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How do you explain suicide to a child?
29 Mar 2011 by Rod Smith / 7 Comments
Suicide is perhaps the strongest and most powerful form of prayer I have ever encountered – giving ultimate relief in dying, what seemed impossible while living.
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Verbal log-jam
When I was a boy I’d endlessly practice the fluent delivery of my name but it seldom flowed easily from my lips. As if it was new news to me, adults pointed out my stutter. Perhaps they thought I was beginning, at that precise moment, for the first time in my life to spit from the mouth, twist at the neck, jig my head back and forth trying to expel some inane statement log-jammed between my gut and my throat.
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Life in our beloved 122
If the inside of a house (outside, too, I suppose) is a metaphor of the lives of the people who live in it – which is something I once read somewhere – gosh, are we in trouble. Our house is a mess.
I consistently clean it room by room, thinking often of the legend that the Golden Gate Bridge that says there’s some guy constantly painting it. I feel for him. While I am sure the view is wonderful I must believe that the poor guy whose doing it daily from one end to the other must find the wind and the weather quite a challenge.
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Being a white South African can come with complications
Being a white South African reared under Apartheid is no simple matter. It permeated everything for me. While I do not pretend to have been a political activist, I was always cognizant that my privileges, simply a result of being born white, were unmerited, and most unfair especially when enjoyed at the expense of others who were not. I think this unsettling truth (for I took advantage of my station in life) was somewhat of a companion to me from the age of about six or seven.
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Location, location – remembering winter in August
We live very close to our school and church, so close we can hear the school bell from our kitchen and the church bells in my bedroom.
Sometimes we walk to both and we don’t see the car for days.
I like it. I like not having to get in and out of the car. I like not having to negotiate traffic, something as synonymous with life in the USA as Disney, Fast Food, and the Fourth of July.
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Ready to adopt?
If you wait until you are ready to adopt a child you never will because you will never be ready. The baby, and only the baby, will make you ready. Reading the right books will be helpful, but “ready” magically comes upon you when a real baby is sleeping in your arms or crying in the middle of the night. If you are not ready to change diapers – and I always am amused at the big deal about this non-issue – being unprepared will last only as long as a clean diaper.
Life inside the Smith household
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