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Boundaries
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Are you defrauding yourself?
08 Feb 2012 by Rod Smith / No Comments
No person can be emotionally healthy– that is well-defined and one who implements useful boundaries, sets clear, achievable goals, and participates in a mutually enriching adult relationships – if he or she persists in showing an outer face (a façade) that is incongruent with his or her inner experience.
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It all comes back even though I have forgiven
31 Jan 2012 by Rod Smith / No Comments
“I have long since made a decision to forgive my boyfriend, fiancé, and then husband and the women for his very numerous affairs. I even know some of the women personally. I did this to move on. However, of late, if something triggers a memory of any affair, I get angry and the pain and humiliation and betrayal all return with the same reality I first suffered. I sometimes think I should just leave my husband. I have promised I will leave if he does this just one more time. But will I?”
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Your Super-Power #2 – ignore it (the power) at your own peril
09 Jan 2012 by Rod Smith / No Comments
Super-power #2: The Power to Forgive
Every one of us has the human capacity to forgive.
While often a tall order, we have the power to forgive those who hurt us and hurt those whom we love.This is a distinctly human edge. It is one of our human super-powers.
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Did you know you are Super Human?
08 Jan 2012 by Rod Smith / 1 Comment
Five super-human powers we all possess, but some ignore
Power 1: Self Definition (day one)
Every one of us has the ability to let the world know exactly we are and exactly who we are not.
This is the power of Self Definition.
It is the capacity to be involved in the development of your own environment, relationships, and ambitions.
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She constantly tried to get my husband’s attention…..
29 Dec 2011 by Rod Smith / No Comments
“My daughter (17) and I noticed that my best friend was constantly trying to get my husband’s attention. She has also been phoning him about her car. Whenever she contacts him he tells me. On Christmas night she sent him a message with a heart. He thought nothing of the message, which I saw the next day. I asked her why she sent it to him and not to me. She didn’t know what to say. She said she knew where I was going with the question. She said we couldn’t be friends anymore and the message was intended for our family. I never accused her of anything. She said I was the last person she expected to make her feel low. I did not do anything to her. Was it so wrong for me to ask her?”
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Verbal log-jam
When I was a boy I’d endlessly practice the fluent delivery of my name but it seldom flowed easily from my lips. As if it was new news to me, adults pointed out my stutter. Perhaps they thought I was beginning, at that precise moment, for the first time in my life to spit from the mouth, twist at the neck, jig my head back and forth trying to expel some inane statement log-jammed between my gut and my throat.
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Life in our beloved 122
If the inside of a house (outside, too, I suppose) is a metaphor of the lives of the people who live in it – which is something I once read somewhere – gosh, are we in trouble. Our house is a mess.
I consistently clean it room by room, thinking often of the legend that the Golden Gate Bridge that says there’s some guy constantly painting it. I feel for him. While I am sure the view is wonderful I must believe that the poor guy whose doing it daily from one end to the other must find the wind and the weather quite a challenge.
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Being a white South African can come with complications
Being a white South African reared under Apartheid is no simple matter. It permeated everything for me. While I do not pretend to have been a political activist, I was always cognizant that my privileges, simply a result of being born white, were unmerited, and most unfair especially when enjoyed at the expense of others who were not. I think this unsettling truth (for I took advantage of my station in life) was somewhat of a companion to me from the age of about six or seven.
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Location, location – remembering winter in August
We live very close to our school and church, so close we can hear the school bell from our kitchen and the church bells in my bedroom.
Sometimes we walk to both and we don’t see the car for days.
I like it. I like not having to get in and out of the car. I like not having to negotiate traffic, something as synonymous with life in the USA as Disney, Fast Food, and the Fourth of July.
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Ready to adopt?
If you wait until you are ready to adopt a child you never will because you will never be ready. The baby, and only the baby, will make you ready. Reading the right books will be helpful, but “ready” magically comes upon you when a real baby is sleeping in your arms or crying in the middle of the night. If you are not ready to change diapers – and I always am amused at the big deal about this non-issue – being unprepared will last only as long as a clean diaper.
Life inside the Smith household
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