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Attraction
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Did you know you are Super Human?
08 Jan 2012 by Rod Smith / 1 Comment
Five super-human powers we all possess, but some ignore
Power 1: Self Definition (day one)
Every one of us has the ability to let the world know exactly we are and exactly who we are not.
This is the power of Self Definition.
It is the capacity to be involved in the development of your own environment, relationships, and ambitions.
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Should I be upset?
27 Dec 2011 by Rod Smith / No Comments
“We have been together for 6 years. We do not live together. We do not sleep together because of our faith. He says he wants to wait until his kids are finished with college. First it was high school. He feels his daughter would not be comfortable with me living there. This year she put an ornament on the Christmas tree of her dad and his ex. I got upset about it. It’s just so weird. It was a slap in the face to me. I let it go as I do everything. I asked if we could we at least get engaged so people would leave me alone. He talks about our future but does not want to set a date. He gets mad at me if I talk about it. We are both 53. The ornament really upset me. Should I be upset?”
This relationship is for his convenience. He’s duping you. While you are at the mercy of his children’s level of comfort you will never be his wife.
If, and when, you find your own unique voice and stop letting things go, what his daughter places on the tree will be irrelevant.
You are in charge of your future – stop believing and living as if it is in his hands.
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While you are his pawn you will never find love or worth
15 Nov 2011 by Rod Smith / No Comments
“I am with a man I have known years. A year ago he was involved with another woman who was already living with another man. He chose her over me when I confronted them together. Within two days he had moved back in with me after living near her for a year. Since then he has treated me poorly but has not seen her. I doubt seriously that he loves me. He is not that sexually interested in me as I think he was in her. To me, that means he is still interested in her. I think he is here for his convenience. What should I do?”
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The currency of an adult committed relationship
06 Nov 2011 by Rod Smith / No Comments
Trust. Kindness. Listening. Shared adventures and challenges. Interest in, and support for individual pursuits. Enduring respect. Taking time (almost) every day to listen to each other. Focused interest and focused attention. Eye contact. Absolute confidentiality. Integrity. Truth. Laughter. Accountability. Praise. Recognition for things accomplished. Conversations. Planning holidays. Escaping routines to be together. Phone calls, text messages to keep each other updated about important and unimportant matters.
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Do you love yourself in a healthy way?
24 Oct 2011 by Rod Smith / No Comments
Healthy self love underpins all authentic love.
The evidence of a lack of healthy self love within any person will permeate all his or her relationships.
A person who does not love himself or herself in a healthy manner will:
1. Believe he or she can love another into desired change. (“I will love him out of his ….”)
2. Lose herself or himself to a relationship. (“There’s no ‘me’ anymore, I love her so much.”)
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Verbal log-jam
When I was a boy I’d endlessly practice the fluent delivery of my name but it seldom flowed easily from my lips. As if it was new news to me, adults pointed out my stutter. Perhaps they thought I was beginning, at that precise moment, for the first time in my life to spit from the mouth, twist at the neck, jig my head back and forth trying to expel some inane statement log-jammed between my gut and my throat.
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Life in our beloved 122
If the inside of a house (outside, too, I suppose) is a metaphor of the lives of the people who live in it – which is something I once read somewhere – gosh, are we in trouble. Our house is a mess.
I consistently clean it room by room, thinking often of the legend that the Golden Gate Bridge that says there’s some guy constantly painting it. I feel for him. While I am sure the view is wonderful I must believe that the poor guy whose doing it daily from one end to the other must find the wind and the weather quite a challenge.
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Being a white South African can come with complications
Being a white South African reared under Apartheid is no simple matter. It permeated everything for me. While I do not pretend to have been a political activist, I was always cognizant that my privileges, simply a result of being born white, were unmerited, and most unfair especially when enjoyed at the expense of others who were not. I think this unsettling truth (for I took advantage of my station in life) was somewhat of a companion to me from the age of about six or seven.
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Location, location – remembering winter in August
We live very close to our school and church, so close we can hear the school bell from our kitchen and the church bells in my bedroom.
Sometimes we walk to both and we don’t see the car for days.
I like it. I like not having to get in and out of the car. I like not having to negotiate traffic, something as synonymous with life in the USA as Disney, Fast Food, and the Fourth of July.
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Ready to adopt?
If you wait until you are ready to adopt a child you never will because you will never be ready. The baby, and only the baby, will make you ready. Reading the right books will be helpful, but “ready” magically comes upon you when a real baby is sleeping in your arms or crying in the middle of the night. If you are not ready to change diapers – and I always am amused at the big deal about this non-issue – being unprepared will last only as long as a clean diaper.
Life inside the Smith household
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