Comments on: Ten signs of Spiritual Abuse…. http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2009/02/09/ten-signs-of-spiritual-abuse/ Difficult Relationships - honest answers to relationship dilemmas Sun, 22 Jan 2012 11:30:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Stephen Crosby http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2009/02/09/ten-signs-of-spiritual-abuse/#comment-5073 Stephen Crosby Mon, 12 Dec 2011 15:15:43 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/?p=1226#comment-5073 Great stuff . . . this might help some too: "You Might be in a Cult if . . . . . http://swordofthekingdom.com/2011/12/07/you-might-be-in-a-cult-if/ Great stuff . . . this might help some too:

“You Might be in a Cult if . . . . .

http://swordofthekingdom.com/2011/12/07/you-might-be-in-a-cult-if/

]]> By: Derik Girdwood http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2009/02/09/ten-signs-of-spiritual-abuse/#comment-4641 Derik Girdwood Sun, 11 Sep 2011 18:44:21 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/?p=1226#comment-4641 "The Church of Jezebel, Hijacking the Gospel", is an excellent Christian suspense novel dealing with spiritual abuse. It is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and in several Christian bookstores. “The Church of Jezebel, Hijacking the Gospel”, is an excellent Christian suspense novel dealing with spiritual abuse. It is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and in several Christian bookstores.

]]> By: Ten Signs of the Presence of Spiritual Abuse « kristinnickols http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2009/02/09/ten-signs-of-spiritual-abuse/#comment-2934 Ten Signs of the Presence of Spiritual Abuse « kristinnickols Fri, 24 Jun 2011 21:29:16 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/?p=1226#comment-2934 [...] I wanted to put together a quick summary on some of the signs of spiritual abuse for those people who don’t like a read lot, or who don’t have time to read a long blog! If that’s you, here is a great article that is very short but highlights some of the characteristics of an abusive system. There are varying degrees of abuse that take place in the church, and some of the signs listed below may apply and others may not. There are many other signs as well, but to keep it short, here are 10 to start with.  Abuse is not ok, even if it is seemingly small. If you would like to read more of what this author has written on this topic, click here:  http://rodesmith.com/2009/02/09/ten-signs-of-spiritual-abuse/ [...] [...] I wanted to put together a quick summary on some of the signs of spiritual abuse for those people who don’t like a read lot, or who don’t have time to read a long blog! If that’s you, here is a great article that is very short but highlights some of the characteristics of an abusive system. There are varying degrees of abuse that take place in the church, and some of the signs listed below may apply and others may not. There are many other signs as well, but to keep it short, here are 10 to start with.  Abuse is not ok, even if it is seemingly small. If you would like to read more of what this author has written on this topic, click here:  http://rodesmith.com/2009/02/09/ten-signs-of-spiritual-abuse/ [...]

]]> By: Shane http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2009/02/09/ten-signs-of-spiritual-abuse/#comment-2933 Shane Fri, 20 May 2011 04:07:45 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/?p=1226#comment-2933 This has helped me, and I will be looking to purchase this book. For just shy of two years I've been recovering from everything you have mentioned here. I was one that was "good", but everything went down hill from the time I decided to use the faith and simple common sense God gave me. Autonomy and independence is a no no. In addition to the false humility which manifest as dressing down and all the others points the previous person mentioned, is the creation of jargon and a language of sorts that all "good" people and "bad people" should aim at adopting. Christ will build his church. May God keep us from fuelling this behaviour and its side affects. This has helped me, and I will be looking to purchase this book. For just shy of two years I’ve been recovering from everything you have mentioned here. I was one that was “good”, but everything went down hill from the time I decided to use the faith and simple common sense God gave me. Autonomy and independence is a no no. In addition to the false humility which manifest as dressing down and all the others points the previous person mentioned, is the creation of jargon and a language of sorts that all “good” people and “bad people” should aim at adopting.

Christ will build his church. May God keep us from fuelling this behaviour and its side affects.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2009/02/09/ten-signs-of-spiritual-abuse/#comment-2932 Anonymous Fri, 15 Apr 2011 02:54:01 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/?p=1226#comment-2932 Hello. This is probably the most accurate depiction that I have read that describes my experience. Don't get me wrong....I have read some terrific articles, that I'm sure apply to a lot of other people. Although I am a victim of spiritual abuse, my experience wasn't as "dramatic" as most articles describe. This article, however, hit the nail on the head for me. Thank you very much for your wisdom! God bless you. Hello. This is probably the most accurate depiction that I have read that describes my experience. Don’t get me wrong….I have read some terrific articles, that I’m sure apply to a lot of other people. Although I am a victim of spiritual abuse, my experience wasn’t as “dramatic” as most articles describe. This article, however, hit the nail on the head for me. Thank you very much for your wisdom! God bless you.

]]> By: J http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2009/02/09/ten-signs-of-spiritual-abuse/#comment-2931 J Sun, 27 Mar 2011 19:02:13 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/?p=1226#comment-2931 Wow wow...this is so true. Having just ended a relationship that has stopped and started over and over again for the past three years I can totally agree with this article. The numbers that apply to me are #1, #5 and #10. I was almost completely destroyed by this relationship, especially because she truly is a wonderful and Godly lady. I don't think she even realizes she is operating in spiritual manipulation. And by the way, it began as an internet dating relationship...which I will NEVER do again. Hopefully I have learned my lesson and will allow the Lord to bring the right person to me in His time and place. I feel as if I have lost years of my life and seen much damage to my emotions because of my experience. RUN RUN far away from anyone that uses "confirmations" and scriptures they have received to try and make you do something that in your heart you just don't have peace about! It is an indirect use of guilt through spiritual manipulation which basically leaves you with no free will. Wow wow…this is so true. Having just ended a relationship that has stopped and started over and over again for the past three years I can totally agree with this article. The numbers that apply to me are #1, #5 and #10. I was almost completely destroyed by this relationship, especially because she truly is a wonderful and Godly lady. I don’t think she even realizes she is operating in spiritual manipulation. And by the way, it began as an internet dating relationship…which I will NEVER do again. Hopefully I have learned my lesson and will allow the Lord to bring the right person to me in His time and place. I feel as if I have lost years of my life and seen much damage to my emotions because of my experience. RUN RUN far away from anyone that uses “confirmations” and scriptures they have received to try and make you do something that in your heart you just don’t have peace about! It is an indirect use of guilt through spiritual manipulation which basically leaves you with no free will.

]]> By: Deceived for a moment http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2009/02/09/ten-signs-of-spiritual-abuse/#comment-2930 Deceived for a moment Sun, 09 Jan 2011 17:46:07 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/?p=1226#comment-2930 I am so thankful for this article. I married this type of person at a vulnerable moment of my life and saw the signs prior to saying "I do," just ignored them because I REALLY wanted a Godly man. Thought nothing that his family, especially parents are extremely distant from him. I even tried for the sake of peace and obedience to go against my moral convictions and perform my devout allegiance and loyalty to every word he commanded, just because he would say..."GOD SAID!" This was the way it was, I had NO VOICE over my own thoughts or contributions to our marriage. I'm the third wife of a seemingly Godly person, full of works! People think I am the cause of our troubles...I have moved out, but still married. I am unfortunately preparing for divorce - because he shows no signs of accountability or turning away from the behavior. I have gone to counseling, but there is sooooo much damage done on my behalf. I WISH CHURCHES WOULD TEACH THIS DURING WHOLENESS SEMINARS....it would REALLY HELP! I am so thankful for this article. I married this type of person at a vulnerable moment of my life and saw the signs prior to saying “I do,” just ignored them because I REALLY wanted a Godly man. Thought nothing that his family, especially parents are extremely distant from him. I even tried for the sake of peace and obedience to go against my moral convictions and perform my devout allegiance and loyalty to every word he commanded, just because he would say…”GOD SAID!” This was the way it was, I had NO VOICE over my own thoughts or contributions to our marriage. I’m the third wife of a seemingly Godly person, full of works! People think I am the cause of our troubles…I have moved out, but still married. I am unfortunately preparing for divorce – because he shows no signs of accountability or turning away from the behavior. I have gone to counseling, but there is sooooo much damage done on my behalf. I WISH CHURCHES WOULD TEACH THIS DURING WHOLENESS SEMINARS….it would REALLY HELP!

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2009/02/09/ten-signs-of-spiritual-abuse/#comment-2929 Anonymous Sun, 05 Sep 2010 19:45:03 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/?p=1226#comment-2929 These are good and very interesting. You should consider putting some Scriptures alongside these... also it might be really helpful to put down alongside this a list of traits for a rebellious person. In my experience many people, particularly in western culture, are rebellious and actually see even good, caring and godly authority as "controlling." When we put lists like this up it is important for us to also consider both sides of the coin, otherwise our words (even true ones- and i agree with all that you've written here) may be used against some very godly and loving leaders in the Body of Christ and cause them serious pain and damage when people with a rebellious heart use and manipulate points like these to tear down leadership. Just a thought to consider. Thanks very much. These are good and very interesting. You should consider putting some Scriptures alongside these… also it might be really helpful to put down alongside this a list of traits for a rebellious person. In my experience many people, particularly in western culture, are rebellious and actually see even good, caring and godly authority as “controlling.”

When we put lists like this up it is important for us to also consider both sides of the coin, otherwise our words (even true ones- and i agree with all that you’ve written here) may be used against some very godly and loving leaders in the Body of Christ and cause them serious pain and damage when people with a rebellious heart use and manipulate points like these to tear down leadership.

Just a thought to consider. Thanks very much.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2009/02/09/ten-signs-of-spiritual-abuse/#comment-2928 Anonymous Sun, 05 Sep 2010 08:44:09 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/?p=1226#comment-2928 This happened to me. It nearly destroyed me. The subtleness was so gentle, and then when my true nature of compliance was stroked, oh so beautifully, I thought it was God. But then when my intuition told me otherwise and I became resistant, I was struck oh so cruelly. Honesty was demanded of me, without any sharing of the other. Fundamentalism began rearing its ugly head.. I see now I was one of many "specials" left in a trail of disposable relationships, so that she could go on to "save" the next soul for her Very Punishing God.And thereby gain credit dor herself. I am lucky and grateful cos I know that the God of My Understanding Loves me No Matter What. This coloumn has clarified it all greatly. Thanks Rod. This happened to me. It nearly destroyed me. The subtleness was so gentle, and then when my true nature of compliance was stroked, oh so beautifully, I thought it was God. But then when my intuition told me otherwise and I became resistant, I was struck oh so cruelly. Honesty was demanded of me, without any sharing of the other. Fundamentalism began rearing its ugly head.. I see now I was one of many “specials” left in a trail of disposable relationships, so that she could go on to “save” the next soul for her Very Punishing God.And thereby gain credit dor herself. I am lucky and grateful cos I know that the God of My Understanding Loves me No Matter What. This coloumn has clarified it all greatly. Thanks Rod.

]]> By: Clif http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2009/02/09/ten-signs-of-spiritual-abuse/#comment-2927 Clif Thu, 05 Aug 2010 12:02:55 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/?p=1226#comment-2927 GREAT post Rod! I read a post recently where the author stated that it wasn't personal when a leader spiritually abuses others. Meaning that they weren't abusing you because they were against you, they do these things to everybody. While I can agree to that on one level, it still HURTS so very much!! I know having gone through many of the same things as J, including getting kicked off of a base. THANK YOU for exposing the traits of those who abuse others in the name of God! THANK YOU for living your life in the way that you do! It demonstrates the love of the Father to so many of us! GREAT post Rod!

I read a post recently where the author stated that it wasn’t personal when a leader spiritually abuses others. Meaning that they weren’t abusing you because they were against you, they do these things to everybody. While I can agree to that on one level, it still HURTS so very much!! I know having gone through many of the same things as J, including getting kicked off of a base.

THANK YOU for exposing the traits of those who abuse others in the name of God!

THANK YOU for living your life in the way that you do! It demonstrates the love of the Father to so many of us!

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