Comments on: My wife and best friend had an affair….. http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/ Difficult Relationships - honest answers to relationship dilemmas Sun, 22 Jan 2012 11:30:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: 2010 in review | Rod Smith http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2245 2010 in review | Rod Smith Sun, 02 Jan 2011 14:36:04 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2245 [...] My wife and best friend had an affair….. November 200718 comments 5 [...] [...] My wife and best friend had an affair….. November 200718 comments 5 [...]

]]> By: Carlos http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2244 Carlos Tue, 13 Jul 2010 03:57:43 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2244 Kick her a...., to the curb! (Carlos, you can be direct without being disrespectful). Kick her a…., to the curb!

(Carlos, you can be direct without being disrespectful).

]]> By: Carlos http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2243 Carlos Tue, 13 Jul 2010 03:54:39 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2243 So they're not "seeing" each other, anymore. And you want to tell them, you know about the affair. Do that and they'll be "seeing " each other again, very shortly. If for no other reason, to "discuss" your knowledge. And of course, have just one more fling...... Yeah right! ....1st: Man up. 2nd: Kick his sorry ..... . 3rd: Dump the cheating woman...... Your wimpy attitude, just makes it acceptable to use and disrespect you. (I edited Carlos's comment -- it while his sentiments are valued and spot on his language leaves a lot to be desired) So they’re not “seeing” each other, anymore. And you want to tell them, you know about the affair. Do that and they’ll be “seeing ” each other again, very shortly. If for no other reason, to “discuss” your knowledge. And of course, have just one more fling…… Yeah right! ….1st: Man up. 2nd: Kick his sorry ….. . 3rd: Dump the cheating woman…… Your wimpy attitude, just makes it acceptable to use and disrespect you.

(I edited Carlos’s comment — it while his sentiments are valued and spot on his language leaves a lot to be desired)

]]> By: Jose M http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2242 Jose M Mon, 06 Jul 2009 06:19:24 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2242 jose m- What you wrote reminds me of my wife. We had a 3 year daughter and my wife said that she wanted to wait 5 years for another child. I used BC an she used birth control. The suddenly she gets pregnant. Later some one told me that the child was from a so-called friend of mine. Istayed and raised the child. He in now 28 years old and he looks so much like his real father. jose m- What you wrote reminds me of my wife.
We had a 3 year daughter and my wife said that she wanted to wait 5 years for another child. I used BC an she used birth control. The suddenly she gets pregnant. Later some one told me that the child was from a so-called friend of mine. Istayed and raised the child. He in now 28 years old and he looks so much like his real father.

]]> By: Jose M http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2241 Jose M Wed, 03 Jun 2009 14:04:51 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2241 After 21 years I found out my wife cheated on me with a single man who I thought was my friend. She also got pregnant and had his child. When the child was small everyone said he looked like me. Her lover was the same nationality as myself, so that was not hard to misjudge. As the child got into his teens he resembled her lover, but exactly unless you looked at him very closley. The child is 23 yrs old now. One day I asked my wife if "my friend" had ever made a pass at her, she ignored me. About a month later I asked her again. She said he tried to kiss her once. She said she push him back. Then I remembered that 9 month before the child was born I came home early from work and he was at my home visiting. He said he was waiting for me. The following week he was there again when I came home early. Neither she nor "my friend" knew I would come home early. I recently came out and asked her if she had an affair and she got upset, but did not deny it. Weeks later I again asked her and then she denied it. I look back and I realized she has no affection for me since the child was born. I stay with her because she was my first real love and I have always loved her. She now accused me that when we were young I cheated on her. I have never cheated on her. After 21 years I found out my wife cheated on me with a single man who I thought was my friend. She also got pregnant and had his child. When the child was small everyone said he looked like me.
Her lover was the same nationality as myself, so that was not hard to misjudge. As the child got into his teens he resembled her lover, but exactly unless you looked at him very closley. The child is 23 yrs old now. One day I asked my wife if “my friend” had ever made a pass at her, she ignored me. About a month later I asked her again. She said he tried to kiss her once. She said she push him back. Then I remembered that 9 month before the child was born I came home early from work and he was at my home visiting.
He said he was waiting for me. The following week he was there again when I came home early.
Neither she nor “my friend” knew I would come home early. I recently came out and asked her if she had an affair and she got upset, but did not deny it. Weeks later I again asked her and then she denied it. I look back and I realized she has no affection for me since the child was born. I stay with her because she was my first real love and I have always loved her. She now accused me that when we were young I cheated on her. I have never cheated on her.

]]> By: bill http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2240 bill Sun, 31 May 2009 06:23:43 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2240 You did nothing wrong. All this sympathetic dribble about something is wrong, bla bla bla. They are both back stabbing jerks. Dump her and never, never talk to your alleged friend again. There are a lot of morons that will try to convince you that you need to do something. Get new wife and new friends. (Edited poor grammar and the use of unhelpful language) You did nothing wrong. All this sympathetic dribble about something is wrong, bla bla bla.

They are both back stabbing jerks. Dump her and never, never talk to your alleged friend again.

There are a lot of morons that will try to convince you that you need to do something.

Get new wife and new friends.

(Edited poor grammar and the use of unhelpful language)

]]> By: vet http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2239 vet Sun, 01 Feb 2009 18:09:59 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2239 Sorry to hear that. Sorry to hear that.

]]> By: Mathew Philip Mattathu http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2238 Mathew Philip Mattathu Fri, 19 Dec 2008 13:09:24 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2238 First of all , I agree with Son of Brooklyn . Many say that when a wife cheats on her husband , there were reasons . Like she was bored, the guy was working all day et al . Yeah , the husband was toiling at work so both of them could have a great life and she gets bored and cheats . How nice and convenient . Let me make this clear that there are no excuses for cheating . Even if your husband hits you or cheats on you . If he is an asshole , leave him and then do what you want . When you get married, you take some vows regarding fidelity . Stick to it . I mean I am married. I cannot imagine myself cheating on my wife or she cheating on me . We may have problems or fights in the future but that does not mean , one can go and cheat on the other . I believe marriage is for keeps . I get my opportunities to cheat if I want but I do not . It is no sacrifice. If I love my wife , no bitch can force me to cheat . I am sure she can also cheat on me if she wanted but she does not . I do not think it is wrong for a wife to have other male friends or for the husband to have other female friends but there should be limits. It is not about not trusting your spouse . But who knows, her close male friend might be looking for a chance to get into her pants. Even if you can trust your wife , can you trust her male friend ? He might rape your wife or drug her or whatever. There are so many ways of cheating . Emotional and physical . Both are cheating . Once a cheater , always a cheater in that he or she can always do that again . If you have done something once, you are capable of it again . So , I do not think it is a good idea to forgive a cheater because life will never be the same again . Oh besides, being drunk is no excuse either . I have been sloshed but never did anything wrong . There were many bitches around. Sorry for using the word bitches. Women are God’s gift to mankind but there are also women who ruin the lives of people . I call those women First of all , I agree with Son of Brooklyn .

Many say that when a wife cheats on her husband , there were reasons . Like she was bored, the guy was working all day et al . Yeah , the husband was toiling at work so both of them could have a great life and she gets bored and cheats . How nice and convenient . Let me make this clear that there are no excuses for cheating . Even if your husband hits you or cheats on you . If he is an asshole , leave him and then do what you want . When you get married, you take some vows regarding fidelity . Stick to it . I mean I am married. I cannot imagine myself cheating on my wife or she cheating on me . We may have problems or fights in the future but that does not mean , one can go and cheat on the other . I believe marriage is for keeps . I get my opportunities to cheat if I want but I do not . It is no sacrifice. If I love my wife , no bitch can force me to cheat . I am sure she can also cheat on me if she wanted but she does not . I do not think it is wrong for a wife to have other male friends or for the husband to have other female friends but there should be limits. It is not about not trusting your spouse . But who knows, her close male friend might be looking for a chance to get into her pants. Even if you can trust your wife , can you trust her male friend ? He might rape your wife or drug her or whatever.

There are so many ways of cheating . Emotional and physical . Both are cheating . Once a cheater , always a cheater in that he or she can always do that again . If you have done something once, you are capable of it again . So , I do not think it is a good idea to forgive a cheater because life will never be the same again . Oh besides, being drunk is no excuse either . I have been sloshed but never did anything wrong . There were many bitches around.

Sorry for using the word bitches. Women are God’s gift to mankind but there are also women who ruin the lives of people . I call those women

]]> By: Son of Brooklyn http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2237 Son of Brooklyn Thu, 18 Dec 2008 12:14:41 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2237 I've actually been where you were too. We are not the only ones this happen to. My wife of 20 yrs had an affair with a friend who was married with his own children. I caught them red handed sending text messages to each other. My heart fell to the ground. I had no choice because of my moral values to leave her and because I knew him, throw him a beating. Yes I know, many of you think thats wrong and think it will not solve anything. If I didnt know the guy, then I would never have paid him a visit. But he knew me and thats a direct hit on disrespect on me. So I threw him a beating and was taken to court for it. so what. I would the same thing again. I have zero respect for anyone that forgives a spouse for cheating. How can you ever trust that person again? There are certain things in this world that can not be forgiven. I walk away with my dignity, pride and self respect. All of which you would have to give up if you stay with a cheating spouse. So if your willing to do that, that would mean you have no self respect. So don't expect any from anyone else. I’ve actually been where you were too. We are not the only ones this happen to. My wife of 20 yrs had an affair with a friend who was married with his own children. I caught them red handed sending text messages to each other. My heart fell to the ground. I had no choice because of my moral values to leave her and because I knew him, throw him a beating. Yes I know, many of you think thats wrong and think it will not solve anything. If I didnt know the guy, then I would never have paid him a visit. But he knew me and thats a direct hit on disrespect on me. So I threw him a beating and was taken to court for it. so what. I would the same thing again. I have zero respect for anyone that forgives a spouse for cheating. How can you ever trust that person again? There are certain things in this world that can not be forgiven. I walk away with my dignity, pride and self respect. All of which you would have to give up if you stay with a cheating spouse. So if your willing to do that, that would mean you have no self respect. So don’t expect any from anyone else.

]]> By: lea http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2236 lea Thu, 11 Dec 2008 03:58:07 +0000 http://rodesmith.com/2007/11/11/my-wife-and-best-friend-had-an-affair/#comment-2236 I would like to chat with people who husband has had an affair with my girlfriend for 5 years. I just found out about 90 days ago. I have been married for 30 plus years. I would like to chat with people who husband has had
an affair with my girlfriend for 5 years. I just found out about 90 days ago. I have been married for 30 plus years.

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