Comments on: My husband told me last night that he did not love me anymore…

By: melissa

melissa — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 03:00:18 +0000

My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years. In fact, we discussed renewing our vows at 10 years. We have 3 children together, all girls, ages 5,3,1. We planned the last child together. We haven’t always had a great marriage, but about 3 years ago we started going back to church and it turned our whole marriage around. We went on dates and told each other everything. He was romantic and we had an amazing sex life. We loved our children and took them to the park together. Talk about having a marriage to be envied!
For about the last 8 months, we had some financial trouble but we were surviving. Gradually, within the last 3 months, he stopped going to church, then making excuses why he couldn’t. Then he started talking mean to me, calling me names, being cruel for no reason. I could not even talk to him. He physically abused me in front of our children… and verbally abused me all the time. More than once he kicked all of us out with no place to go… then would call and tell us to come home. Then, for about a month it just stopped. Things weren’t back to great, but it was bearable and we began talking again. Then about 2 weeks ago he just didn’t come home, he spent a week drinking and not coming home from work. He would spend time at the gym or at the bar. I was perplexed. I told him if he had another drink I would be gone… but of course I didn’t keep my threat. He drank again twice since then. For the last few days it looked like he had made an attempt to be nice, he actually came home a few days after work, spoke civil to me… But then told me he didn’t love me. I guess I should have seen this coming. What happened to the man that any woman would have loved to be married to? The last year of my life has been hell. For instance… he came in and said his clothes weren’t dry, asked if the dryer was working right. I said maybe he just forgot to turn it on, that I have done that before. His exact words? “Shut the fuck up, I know if I turned the God damn dryer on, stupid cunt. Fucking tell me that.” He kept on mumbling it as he walked down the hall. I just cried silently.
What do I do? I have 3 small children, no job, and not enough money from his job to save anything… I want to move near my parents, but I need to find a job first. AND we are in the process of buying our first home! We close in a week. I wait on this man hand and foot and try to be loving and helpful. I am not perfect, but I don’t talk to him this way. I don’t stay gone for days on end. I can’t tell his family or mine what is going on. I just don’t know what to do. I am tired of lying and making excuses to everyone for him and why he’s not at church or at family functions anymore. Any advice?

By: brenda

brenda — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 13:13:39 +0000

my husband has told me that he doe not love me any more because i cheated on him 3 years ago (understandable),but the affair was short lived ,so he told me he wanted to work it out .now 3years later he says he can not get over it and want a divorce ,but he wont leave ,he wants me to leave .i do not have the means to do that and i have no where to go because my family lives in another state.i do not want to uproot my children and i have a workers comp. case in this state. i still love my husband very much and seeing him here everyday is killing me,i dont know where to turn .i am scared,confused and need help .i cry all the time because of having to see him everyday i dont think i can handle this much longer .some one please help me im lost

By: guadelupe

guadelupe — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 15:15:25 +0000

I am with a man I have known 24 years.Last December he was involved with another woman who was living with another man.He chose her over me when I confronted them together.Later,that same day he pretended he had not chose her.Within two days he had moved back in with me after living near her for a year.Since then he has treated me poorly but has not seen the other woman,for sure.I am at my wits end and doubt seriously that he loves me.He is not that sexually interested in me and I think he was in her.To me,that means he is still interested in her,not me.I think he is here for his convenience.Her man had her kicked out of their building.My man claims he does not like the woman but I doubt that.

By: mitchie

mitchie — Tue, 17 May 2011 14:23:47 +0000

Your stories have helped me a lot. My husband told me two nights ago that he doesn’t think that he is in love with me anymore or that he ever was in love with me. We’ve been maaried for almost 12 years. He doesn’t know what love feels and doesn’t know what to do. He said that he confused love for admiration and pride. He is so proud of me but when Im not around het doesn’t miss me. He cannot give me an indication if he wants a divorce. He will meet a psychologist this week. Hopefully he will be enlightened and find out what he wants. For the meantime I will try to be strong for my two little girls. It hurts so much but I cannot let hurt me again. I will try to focus on what I will do next and prepare for the worst. Also to let him go.

By: laura

laura — Sun, 15 May 2011 15:03:38 +0000

i have been looking for help for months to ease my pain, and this site has done that. Me and my partner split after nearly 3 years. We have a 17 month old who we both adore. Nearly 3 months ago i asked him ‘you still want to move house next week don’t you? ‘ he said no. I asked why and he told me he didn’t love me anymore. I have since moved and i am heartbroken. Everyday i dwell on what could have been, cry all day, and isolate myself from the world. He has let me down with money but he comes to my home to see our son, we have sex. He stays all day, kiss and big hug bye..and thats that. There isn’t someone else, and says he’s not ready to sleep with another woman. I have tried to do and say as much as i can to make him come home and let me fix our family, but he doesn’t want to know. I know he is attracted to me still, he loves me, but he just not in love with me. I wish there was something i could do. It kills me knowing thats it. We had ups and downs, we had our faults, but i seen through it. He had been violent in the past. New man since then. If i forgave him and took him back why can’t he believe we can be happy and things can be different? He had an accident to his hand an was off work. We distanced so much, and 4 weeks later he told me that. I used that, maybe he was depressd, he still not workin 2 1/2 months on. But doesnt want me still.

By: Amiari

Amiari — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 02:10:30 +0000

Anonymous just write your frustrations here…it will help.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Mar 2011 02:01:58 +0000

I’m sorry, but I can not be here. I can not live this live

By: Amiari

Amiari — Wed, 23 Feb 2011 11:58:30 +0000

Well somehow I keep coming back to this site just to see how everybody is doing…It has been hard to cope with the love bomb, but what I have noticed is that when a husband tells you that he is not in love anymore is because he is having an affair. It may not be case with every husband, but for the most part it is. The times my husband dropped the love bomb was when he was having an affair and believed that that woman was far more superior than me. Now I have come to the conclusion that is not about him anymore. I do not let him control this relationship. By my actions and words I let him know that he is no longer in control of our marriage. He can drop the love bomb when ever he wants, but he knows that when he does he’s out! I am very distant from him and he feels it. Just this morining he was asking me why I am distant. I am working on me and I feel so good inside because whatever he does has no effect on me whatsoever. Yes I do love him, but I do not let my love for him control or hurt me. He knows he is still here because he is necessary for our finances. I told him that our children do not deserve to suffer for our mistakes. He knows that I have to finish my education before we can split. I really do not know what is going to happen, maybe we won’t get a divorce and things will get better, but maybe not. I am open to all options and prepared to take the worst. Everybody needs to love themselves as much as they love their husbands/wives…and to all those women/men that are hurt because their spouse has cheated on them remember: the best revenge is your success!!!!! (I should know, I’m living it right now)

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 19:25:29 +0000

A few nights ago my teenager and husband got in a yelling match. It was getting very threatening and i stepped in to stop it. The two of them would not back down. My son went to his room and my husband started packing his clothes. My husband told me that he doesn’t love me and wants to move on. The argument had nothing to do with me but it was where we are in our marriage, He has given up and decided that life would be better without me and his child arguing, He really meant it when he said that he doesn’t love me, that he doesn’t need me and wants to move on I was upset and left few a bit but would not stay gone overnight He was angry that i came back he said that he put all this time and work in this home and he should get the home, I am devastated. I knew that we had problems since he has not wanted to have sex for most of the past 12 months. But I never thought he did not love me. I am so upset that i can’t find the strength to work. I will go back to work tommarow but i feel so sad inside we have been married for 20 years I don’t know what to do next, and i don’t want my famiy to know what is going on, they would turn against him and there would be no chance of reconcilation
what should i do ?

By: alex

alex — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 16:02:56 +0000

Ive read all your post and in some way relate my situation.I know my husband does not love me even if he keeps on telling me that he do. As the saying goes “actions speak louder than words”. # years ago Ive found out that after a year of marriage my husband is still seeing his ex. One time his phone rings and I happen to answer it I ask who the caller was and bang it his ex. The room seems to melt under my feet I felt so weak that sit on the floor arguing to my self whether to confront him or not. but I happen to have the guts at that time and ask him. He denied of, but when I ask the ex she told me her knowledge of him is that he is single. since that day I know our marriage is in chaos. But we try to fix things for our marriage. It hurts to know that he does not love me. He doesnt even care about my feelings how I feel on the photos of them together keep in his locker,old love letters etc. Its obvious that he loves her that much because the tone of his voice change at the mere mention of her name. My problem is I want to break free from this pain. I want to leave him, the thing that stop me are the kids because they are very close to him. How will they cope with situation? Please can somebody give me an advice