Comments on: Children re-write experiences with dad when they go back to mom http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2006/07/31/children-visits-dad-mom-negative-why/ Difficult Relationships - honest answers to relationship dilemmas Sun, 22 Jan 2012 11:30:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: DJ http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2006/07/31/children-visits-dad-mom-negative-why/#comment-843 DJ Tue, 08 Aug 2006 01:24:08 +0000 https://rodesmith.wordpress.com/2006/07/31/children-visits-dad-mom-negative-why/#comment-843 I am a step-parent and we have legal physical custody of the three children. When they visit their biological mother (every other weekend) and less if she is "out there," they children tell her how they hate living here at home and how dirty our house is. I clean this house top to bottom and house hygeine is top on my list. When they talk with their mother, I assume that they are trying to get her to let them live with her. She does not want that! In two years we will be totally emmancipated from this and we (me and husband) are taking a nice cruise to celebrate! I am a step-parent and we have legal physical custody of the three children. When they visit their biological mother (every other weekend) and less if she is “out there,” they children tell her how they hate living here at home and how dirty our house is. I clean this house top to bottom and house hygeine is top on my list. When they talk with their mother, I assume that they are trying to get her to let them live with her. She does not want that! In two years we will be totally emmancipated from this and we (me and husband) are taking a nice cruise to celebrate!

]]> By: hockamama http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2006/07/31/children-visits-dad-mom-negative-why/#comment-842 hockamama Tue, 01 Aug 2006 16:07:39 +0000 https://rodesmith.wordpress.com/2006/07/31/children-visits-dad-mom-negative-why/#comment-842 As a child of divorce, I often put a different spin on visits, depending on which parent I was with. I didn't want to hurt mama's feelings by telling her how much fun I had at daddy's. It's hard (atleast in a child's mind) for the custodial parent to hear that a good time was had at the other parent's house, so sugarcoating is common, I think. This is just a feeling from my personal experience, not sure if it's the same for everyone. As a child of divorce, I often put a different spin on visits, depending on which parent I was with. I didn’t want to hurt mama’s feelings by telling her how much fun I had at daddy’s. It’s hard (atleast in a child’s mind) for the custodial parent to hear that a good time was had at the other parent’s house, so sugarcoating is common, I think. This is just a feeling from my personal experience, not sure if it’s the same for everyone.

]]> By: Andrew McAllister Ph.D. http://www.difficultrelationships.com/2006/07/31/children-visits-dad-mom-negative-why/#comment-841 Andrew McAllister Ph.D. Tue, 01 Aug 2006 02:31:38 +0000 https://rodesmith.wordpress.com/2006/07/31/children-visits-dad-mom-negative-why/#comment-841 I agree! To have all the adults focusing on the kids' welfare is great. (...instead of worrying first about any tensions between the adults) I might speak casually to the boys while in the midst of a visit just to convince yourself they are really having a good time, but then don't make a big deal of it if their description later seems at odds with that. <a href="http://lovehonoranddismay.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">To Love, Honor and Dismay</a> - I agree! To have all the adults focusing on the kids’ welfare is great. (…instead of worrying first about any tensions between the adults) I might speak casually to the boys while in the midst of a visit just to convince yourself they are really having a good time, but then don’t make a big deal of it if their description later seems at odds with that.

To Love, Honor and Dismay
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